You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
