my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
