I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
