Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
