You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
