On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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