every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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