eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
