I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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