the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
