This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
