My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
