just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
