So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
