I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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