bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
