when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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