somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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