Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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