Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize