i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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