We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Michael Bay diarrhea
nutella sex= disaster
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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