I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
