I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
