Me too!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i've created a new STD.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
