ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
