If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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