Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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