He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
