I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
