How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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