I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The air was thick with penises
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I party with great urgency now.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
