How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
