I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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