Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
