Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
