Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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