its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize