This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
