You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
