umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
