I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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