this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
