I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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