You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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