You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
