I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
