I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
last night I used snow as a chaser
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
