do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
