Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
