her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
