Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
