Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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