I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
