11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dick very happy bro
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
