I'll bet she douches with gravy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Mom said you looked used
being pregnant is like rehab
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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