you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
