: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
pray to the hookup gods
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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