my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
