Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize