I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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