new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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