There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
