I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just invented taco cereal.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
