break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
