So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Let's get the cat blown out
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize