Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
