When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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