Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
