I must be too annoying 4 u.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
