3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
